Cuff Smart Jewelry Closes Business. No Refunds.

I do not like to complain, BUT I pre-ordered my Cuff bracelet from cuff.io in February 2015. Multiple emails from the company, claiming delays, said they would ship April 2016. I visited the website and found that they closed up shop. Googled them, and found on Fortune.com that Cuff "quietly closed in March 2016."

No refunds!?! Seriously? After the company raised $5 Million? I think Cuff founder Deepa Sood owes customers an apology at the very least.

Current mood = Aggravated!

My Breast Cancer Update: I am a Lucky Girl

This past Monday was Cycle #3. Infusion went well, although I suffered some mild nausea that evening. Tuesday was greeted with more nausea; I spent half of Wednesday asleep and very achy; and Thursday was still achy, but could at least stay awake.

Today, the Friday after infusion, I started my day positive and thought I would be productive, well - productive for me. I got the boys out the door for school, showered, and dressed; I even managed a light dusting of make-up and real pants. I quickly realized that I had used all of my energy, and changed into sweatpants. I even got a couple loads of laundry done.

Those days in-between Monday and today were tough. Really tough. I'm an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like crap, look like crap, and don't want to do crap. I feel terrible, like I'm neglecting my family, my dog, myself. No matter how bad I feel, I'm constantly reminded of how lucky I am. Every single day we have family, friends, and neighbors reaching out and showing support. I receive emails, texts and cards of encouragement, flowers, uplifting gifts, meals for our family... the list goes on and on. The love is truly appreciated and keeps me smiling, even when it's difficult. I am so lucky to have strong women in my life who are fellow warriors of breast cancer and offer support, advice, or just an ear. I am lucky to have angels in my life who have been caretakers of someone with cancer, who understand how difficult this bump in the road is for myself and my family. It's just a bump for me, and I will get on the other side. I am lucky to have friends who have arranged for dinners to be delivered to my family on weeks that I have treatment. I am lucky to have friends who want to go with me to infusion and help me remember that I'm not alone. I am lucky to have friends who want to come by the house for a short visit, or to get me out of the house for a couple hours, and help me feel more like myself.

I am lucky that I am one infusion away from being finished with Part A of treatment! I have a week off before infusion #4, and I am lucky to be able to savor it.

I am lucky to have a nice shaped head like my Pops.

I am lucky to have a wonderful Mother.

I am lucky to be friends with this fellow Warrior, since 1st grade. 

I am lucky to be friends with this Angel, since high school.

I am lucky that a lovely neighbor dropped off a delicious cake.

I am lucky to have shared unfortunate haircuts with my brother.

I am lucky to have friends such as these lovely ladies...

and this beautiful friend...

and these great friends...

and this brother-from-another-mother...

and the greatest most supportive husband a girl could have...

and the many, many more of you out there who are helping me get through.

I love you all.

xo

My Breast Cancer Update: Second Cycle + Logo Design

Yesterday morning I woke up to more little hairs from my head left on my pillow.
"Hair today. Gone tomorrow." Did I call it, or what?

Memaw knitting, of course!

Second Cycle Infusion went well. I was lucky enough to be there as a physical therapist was making her rounds, so I received a nice neck and shoulder massage for about 30 minutes. That was a treat. Memaw was with me, keeping me company, and hubby was in an out with work errands and made a lunch run. Otherwise, I just sat in my comfy chair for hours... reading, checking emails, Facebook, and yes, taking selfies.

I received the normal infusion of the steroid, and my home dose was dropped down to just one pill the morning after. I have been awake since 2:30am, so I went ahead and took the pill at 6:30am. Hopefully it will run through my system quickly, and I'll manage any nausea with Zofran along the way. I pulled myself together and got outside in this beautiful weather for a walk, and stopped in to see friends and their newborn. So... so far, so good. Just a bit tired, but can't rest.

With hat?

Without hat?

Today I ordered a good set of hair clippers via Amazon. They will be here Thursday, and this buzz cut of mine will get serious! A friend and work colleague who also battled breast cancer told me that she never lost her eyelashes, eyebrows, or leg hair (that part is unfair). And one of my besties said that her eyelashes and eyebrows were the last to go. Needless to say, everyone reacts differently. I went ahead and purchased real hair eyebrows, stencils, makeup and more. I also treated myself to several scarves and hats, as well as being gifted a beautiful designer scarf from dear friends. I figured I'm saving money not going to the hair salon or getting mani/pedis, right? I already have the oversized sunglasses, so I'll be set for my Vogue cover shoot circa 1976.

As I was lying awake in bed early this morning, I was thinking about the logo that I've been using for these updates. I originally designed it several years ago for a client's meeting publication. I repurposed it for this blog because it perfectly shows how this breast cancer and chemo process feels to me. It's kinda three parts. The first part being before diagnosis. The second part, where I am now, the unravelling and being taken apart in surgery and recovery, then chemo treatments. The third part is being put back together better and stronger. One thing that this process has taught me is that I really didn't know anything about breast cancer and chemo before going through it myself. When family, friends, and neighbors had battled any cancer in the past, I really did not know how to help, what to do or say. I'm still figuring it out, but I know for sure that I will be a better caregiver, family member, and friend because of this.

As and end note. I would like to send lots of love and positive energy to the people in Brussels. You are in my thoughts.

My Breast Cancer Update: Hair today. Gone tomorrow.

It's the first day of spring and I am preparing myself for my second chemo session tomorrow. I worry myself about how I will feel this upcoming week. The doc is tweaking my meds this time around, a lesser dose or none at all of the steroid. Hydrating as much as possible and making sure I have all the things that I think I will want to help comfort myself. My mom is back in town to help out as well, so I am hopeful that it will be much better than after the first chemo treatment. 

I have also been having vivid dreams about chunks of my hair falling out. I know it's bound to happen at any moment, and no matter how much I try and prepare myself for it... I'm not ready. Chemo can cause hair loss all over your body - not just the hair on your head. Eyelashes, eyebrows, and other body hair may fall out. C'mon! Seriously!?! I have been watching YouTube tutorials on drawing on eyebrows and putting on fake lashes. I apologize in advance if I look like a freak for a while. I have never been good with my eyebrows, AND I never knew how cold I could be until I shaved my hair.

So tonight I distracted myself by making dinner for the family. Well, two different dinners really. One with meat for the boys, and one without for hubby. Now we are watching our beloved Washington Captials fight off the dreadful Penguins. After the game I will recheck my bags for tomorrow before relaxing to bed.

Wish me luck. :)

My Breast Cancer Update: Days after First Chemo Treatment

This steroid is making me crazy!

On days 2, 3, and 4 after chemo treatment I was prescribed Dexamethasone, a steroid to help prevent nausea and other possible allergic reactions. What it actually did was made me feel incredibly anxious, jittery, yet extremely exhausted at the same time. Quite nerve-racking. I'm tired, but I can't sit still. I can't focus on anything... not even Pinterest could keep me interested.

I spoke with one of my nurses yesterday, and she said that we would try to lessen my dose for the next cycle. I also have a meeting with my nurse practitioner on Monday which I plan to request alternatives for the steroid... or at least something to chill me out.

To all the women I have known to function and work through chemo treatments... YOU are truly superwomen! I don't know how you do it. I'm hopeful that I will figure out the treatment that works best for me and helps me feel a bit more human than I have the past few days.

My Breast Cancer Update: First Chemo Treatment

Answering the selfie requests for my new short haircut.

I began yesterday very anxious about my first chemo treatment. I over packed, you would have thought I was going camping... but better have too much than too little. I had a lot of great tips on how to get through treatments from lots of lovely ladies. I absorbed all of their advice and I had my mother (AKA Memaw) and my super-hero of a husband with me. I knew that I would do just fine.

So yesterday was treatment 1 of Part A: AC with tons of anti-nausea meds beforehand. My anxiety went away as the nurse began with the infusions. I drank a lot of water on the days leading up to treatment, and the day of treatment, which I think helped. During treatment, I sucked on tiny ice cubes throughout (great tip from friends), sipped on water or ginger-ale, and snacked on graham cracker cookies. I watched Freaks and Geeks on Netflix and just tried to relax. Memaw was, as usual, knitting. Husband was working, so was in and out of the room throughout treatment.

The "Red Devil" of Adriamycin (Doxorubicin) is no joke! It looked like red Jell-O being injected into my system, which already freaked me out. I could feel an overwhelming surge of drowsiness come over me as it was going in. All the water I had been drinking seemed to help get it through my system quickly.

Once complete, I was feeling ok. I had been told that I would feel great, but to also take it easy, especially with food. When I got home I went on a nice long walk with Memaw and Karma dog. Then relaxed on the sofa for the rest of the evening. I began to feel a bit woozy, like a mild hangover. I ate some brown rice with scrambled egg, my go-to comfort food when I am not feeling great, and went to bed fairly early.

This morning, I still had the hangover feeling but a bit stronger with the addition of a slight headache. I ate some granola with yogurt, and keep drinking water. I just finished up a short walk with Memaw and Karma dog, and now am trying to get to my unanswered messages and write this update post.

Excuse my flabby arm. :)

Oh, I was also sent home with this cool Neulasta kit. I'm supposed to have a Neulasta injection the day after chemo, but instead of making me come in, the nurse stuck this little kit to my arm (picture right). It will beep to let me know when it will begin injection, and has a blinking light that will go solid once the dose is complete. How cool is that! I don't have to make another trip to the doctor's office, AND I'm not sticking a needle into myself.

Soo... So far, so good. As I have been telling friends, it feels like a hangover BUT without the funny stories from the night before. Also, if I had a hangover, I'd be at the diner by myself in a lonely booth, wearing sunglasses, downing a giant omelet.

Thank you again for all the advice, tips, good vibes, and encouragement throughout this moment of my life. I cannot thank you enough and explain how much it means to me... but I'll do my very best to try. You help keep me tough.

Lots of love!
Jackie

My Breast Cancer Update

“It is fun to be alive. It's a hell of a lot better than being dead.”
― Joe Strummer

OK. So it feels like I'm being taken apart, but I'll be put back together - better and stronger. It may not feel like fun now, but I know things could be worse, and things WILL get better.

An update:

The week between Christmas and New Year's Eve, I found a lump in my left breast while showering. I wasn't doing a self-exam, just showering, and there it was. I freaked and made an appointment with my doctor for the following week. 

1/5/16 - My doctor seemed optimistic that the lump was just a cyst, but still wanted me to have it checked out further. 

1/21/16 - I have an ultrasound... Then my first ever mammogram. After reviewing the mammogram, I was asked if I could do a biopsy on the mass that same afternoon. Then my first ever biopsy and another mammogram.

1/26/16 - I received the call that the biopsy did test positive for breast cancer. 

1/29/16 - I meet with surgeon option 1.

2/1/16 - I meet with surgeon option 2. I also meet with a genetic counselor and have lab work done. I tentatively schedule surgery for the following Tuesday.

2/3/16 - I have my first ever MRI. I meet with plastic surgeon. Tuesday surgery for bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction is scheduled. 

2/4/16 - I have fitting for post surgery camisole. 

2/5/16 - Pre-surgery lab work at the hospital.

2/8/16 - Pre-op appointment with plastic surgeon.

2/9/16 - 8:30am arrival to hospital for surgery. I told the anesthesiologist that I didn't want to know anything, feel anything, or puke anything. Surgery was began around 11am, and ended about 6-7 hours later. All went well. 

2/22/16 - I have my first appointment with the oncologist. We come up with a 2-part plan for chemotherapy. Part A begins Monday, March 7 and will be every 2 weeks for 4 cycles. Part B will follow every week for 12 weeks. 

TODAY is 2/27/16. It's been a little over 2-1/2 weeks since my surgery and I'm feeling better and stronger everyday. My energy level is still up and down, and I get emotional at times. Things have happened very quickly, which I am thankful for.

Since my family and I started this journey, we have received an overwhelming outpouring of love and support from friends and family near and far. I can't imagine how I could ever express my sincere gratitude to everyone, but if you know me - you know I will try my best to thank every single one of you personally. 

My motto that I've adapted from a very dear friend: 

It's not going to kill me... it's just going to suck for a while. 

I plan on using this old blog to update everyone on my progress... a journal of sorts. 

Thank you again for all the love. I send lots of love and positive vibes back to you all.

Without you, I'm not sure I could feel as positive as I do that everything will be ok.