My Breast Cancer Update: Second Cycle + Logo Design

Yesterday morning I woke up to more little hairs from my head left on my pillow.
"Hair today. Gone tomorrow." Did I call it, or what?

Memaw knitting, of course!

Second Cycle Infusion went well. I was lucky enough to be there as a physical therapist was making her rounds, so I received a nice neck and shoulder massage for about 30 minutes. That was a treat. Memaw was with me, keeping me company, and hubby was in an out with work errands and made a lunch run. Otherwise, I just sat in my comfy chair for hours... reading, checking emails, Facebook, and yes, taking selfies.

I received the normal infusion of the steroid, and my home dose was dropped down to just one pill the morning after. I have been awake since 2:30am, so I went ahead and took the pill at 6:30am. Hopefully it will run through my system quickly, and I'll manage any nausea with Zofran along the way. I pulled myself together and got outside in this beautiful weather for a walk, and stopped in to see friends and their newborn. So... so far, so good. Just a bit tired, but can't rest.

With hat?

Without hat?

Today I ordered a good set of hair clippers via Amazon. They will be here Thursday, and this buzz cut of mine will get serious! A friend and work colleague who also battled breast cancer told me that she never lost her eyelashes, eyebrows, or leg hair (that part is unfair). And one of my besties said that her eyelashes and eyebrows were the last to go. Needless to say, everyone reacts differently. I went ahead and purchased real hair eyebrows, stencils, makeup and more. I also treated myself to several scarves and hats, as well as being gifted a beautiful designer scarf from dear friends. I figured I'm saving money not going to the hair salon or getting mani/pedis, right? I already have the oversized sunglasses, so I'll be set for my Vogue cover shoot circa 1976.

As I was lying awake in bed early this morning, I was thinking about the logo that I've been using for these updates. I originally designed it several years ago for a client's meeting publication. I repurposed it for this blog because it perfectly shows how this breast cancer and chemo process feels to me. It's kinda three parts. The first part being before diagnosis. The second part, where I am now, the unravelling and being taken apart in surgery and recovery, then chemo treatments. The third part is being put back together better and stronger. One thing that this process has taught me is that I really didn't know anything about breast cancer and chemo before going through it myself. When family, friends, and neighbors had battled any cancer in the past, I really did not know how to help, what to do or say. I'm still figuring it out, but I know for sure that I will be a better caregiver, family member, and friend because of this.

As and end note. I would like to send lots of love and positive energy to the people in Brussels. You are in my thoughts.

My Breast Cancer Update: Hair today. Gone tomorrow.

It's the first day of spring and I am preparing myself for my second chemo session tomorrow. I worry myself about how I will feel this upcoming week. The doc is tweaking my meds this time around, a lesser dose or none at all of the steroid. Hydrating as much as possible and making sure I have all the things that I think I will want to help comfort myself. My mom is back in town to help out as well, so I am hopeful that it will be much better than after the first chemo treatment. 

I have also been having vivid dreams about chunks of my hair falling out. I know it's bound to happen at any moment, and no matter how much I try and prepare myself for it... I'm not ready. Chemo can cause hair loss all over your body - not just the hair on your head. Eyelashes, eyebrows, and other body hair may fall out. C'mon! Seriously!?! I have been watching YouTube tutorials on drawing on eyebrows and putting on fake lashes. I apologize in advance if I look like a freak for a while. I have never been good with my eyebrows, AND I never knew how cold I could be until I shaved my hair.

So tonight I distracted myself by making dinner for the family. Well, two different dinners really. One with meat for the boys, and one without for hubby. Now we are watching our beloved Washington Captials fight off the dreadful Penguins. After the game I will recheck my bags for tomorrow before relaxing to bed.

Wish me luck. :)

My Breast Cancer Update: Days after First Chemo Treatment

This steroid is making me crazy!

On days 2, 3, and 4 after chemo treatment I was prescribed Dexamethasone, a steroid to help prevent nausea and other possible allergic reactions. What it actually did was made me feel incredibly anxious, jittery, yet extremely exhausted at the same time. Quite nerve-racking. I'm tired, but I can't sit still. I can't focus on anything... not even Pinterest could keep me interested.

I spoke with one of my nurses yesterday, and she said that we would try to lessen my dose for the next cycle. I also have a meeting with my nurse practitioner on Monday which I plan to request alternatives for the steroid... or at least something to chill me out.

To all the women I have known to function and work through chemo treatments... YOU are truly superwomen! I don't know how you do it. I'm hopeful that I will figure out the treatment that works best for me and helps me feel a bit more human than I have the past few days.

My Breast Cancer Update: First Chemo Treatment

Answering the selfie requests for my new short haircut.

I began yesterday very anxious about my first chemo treatment. I over packed, you would have thought I was going camping... but better have too much than too little. I had a lot of great tips on how to get through treatments from lots of lovely ladies. I absorbed all of their advice and I had my mother (AKA Memaw) and my super-hero of a husband with me. I knew that I would do just fine.

So yesterday was treatment 1 of Part A: AC with tons of anti-nausea meds beforehand. My anxiety went away as the nurse began with the infusions. I drank a lot of water on the days leading up to treatment, and the day of treatment, which I think helped. During treatment, I sucked on tiny ice cubes throughout (great tip from friends), sipped on water or ginger-ale, and snacked on graham cracker cookies. I watched Freaks and Geeks on Netflix and just tried to relax. Memaw was, as usual, knitting. Husband was working, so was in and out of the room throughout treatment.

The "Red Devil" of Adriamycin (Doxorubicin) is no joke! It looked like red Jell-O being injected into my system, which already freaked me out. I could feel an overwhelming surge of drowsiness come over me as it was going in. All the water I had been drinking seemed to help get it through my system quickly.

Once complete, I was feeling ok. I had been told that I would feel great, but to also take it easy, especially with food. When I got home I went on a nice long walk with Memaw and Karma dog. Then relaxed on the sofa for the rest of the evening. I began to feel a bit woozy, like a mild hangover. I ate some brown rice with scrambled egg, my go-to comfort food when I am not feeling great, and went to bed fairly early.

This morning, I still had the hangover feeling but a bit stronger with the addition of a slight headache. I ate some granola with yogurt, and keep drinking water. I just finished up a short walk with Memaw and Karma dog, and now am trying to get to my unanswered messages and write this update post.

Excuse my flabby arm. :)

Oh, I was also sent home with this cool Neulasta kit. I'm supposed to have a Neulasta injection the day after chemo, but instead of making me come in, the nurse stuck this little kit to my arm (picture right). It will beep to let me know when it will begin injection, and has a blinking light that will go solid once the dose is complete. How cool is that! I don't have to make another trip to the doctor's office, AND I'm not sticking a needle into myself.

Soo... So far, so good. As I have been telling friends, it feels like a hangover BUT without the funny stories from the night before. Also, if I had a hangover, I'd be at the diner by myself in a lonely booth, wearing sunglasses, downing a giant omelet.

Thank you again for all the advice, tips, good vibes, and encouragement throughout this moment of my life. I cannot thank you enough and explain how much it means to me... but I'll do my very best to try. You help keep me tough.

Lots of love!
Jackie